So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
wow bdsm is so cute
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
