What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
