Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
