A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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