and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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