i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
