...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
