Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
