You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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