i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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