We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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