Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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