wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Randomize
