He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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