There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
