I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
