you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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