id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
