He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
