the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
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