pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
