It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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