i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
