I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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