i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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