When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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