Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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