pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
