dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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