weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
