Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
