Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize