but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize