I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
