Barsexuality is the new black.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
