we're blogging at a bar
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
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He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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