her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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