Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
