If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
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Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
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We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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