you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
