Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
