he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
