the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
