i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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