Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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