Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
