She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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