I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
