Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
