I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
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In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
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The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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