its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
