please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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