youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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