I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize