Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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