the condom got lost in my hair
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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