It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize