all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
