so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
