So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Randomize
