Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
