oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
