Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Randomize
